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The usual first step is its on somebodys mind, Pillemer noted. Often respondents said that family values held them back from reconciling, because the other person had violated their standards for proper family life. I sought to fill these gaps through a series of interrelated studies and have presented and described my findings in my 2020 book Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them.. | Carrying a sense of shame, isolation and stress were also common among those he talked to. Butting heads with your child's grandparents? She could not believe he was taking this stand. Karl Pillemer does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. The Family Divorce: Irreconcilable Family Rifts,